Chat Room - Online Internet Affairs, Troubled Teens, Help for Families, Truth behind Online Affairs
What Types Of Internet Addictions Are There?
Oh, what a tangled web.
Due to the increasing number of divorce cases or the break up of relationships involving one or both partners having online affairs it is obvious that this is a growing problem. The people who engage in online affairs tend to believe that they haven’t committed adultery or cheated simply because they haven’t had physical relations with the person they are romancing. They rationalize that because they don’t have sex then they aren’t betraying their spouse. Even so, the devastation that these affairs leave behind is significant because you are having an affair outside of marriage. Jesus said in Mat. 5:27-28 that really you are committing adultery or fornication, because you have done this in your heart.
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Once trustworthy partners become secretive and unloving toward their husband or wife while idealizing the romance they are having online. They feel the person they have connected with online understands them like no one, including their spouse, ever has. They dream of starting a new life and fantasize about running away with this person whom they have never met. They may suddenly demand to have their space while at the computer or even move it to a private area of the home to avoid their loved one’s prying eyes. They spend hours engulfed in the computer and neglect their relationships. Not only does the marriage suffer but also relationships with their children, church family, friends and God suffer as well.
Once confronted about their online affair, the offending partner becomes hostile, belligerent, verbally and at times physically abusive. Women tend to become withdrawn and depressed when they discover an affair, while men become angry and resentful. Usually bewildered by the discovery, the betrayed spouse struggles with understanding how their partner could fall in love or romance a person whom they don’t even know.
Without counseling and rebuilding of trust and communication, separation or even divorce is likely. Usually there are preexisting issues and the partner who committed the affair should realize that rationalizing their behavior because these problems only make things worse. Admission of guilt doesn’t get trust back and it surely doesn’t make things okay. Sometimes it takes years to get back the trust, while other times trust is never reestablished. In either case, both spouses need counseling whether it be together or individually.
Many times children also need to be counseled because of the dissolution of their parent’s relationship. The break down of the family unit is always devastating to a child but more so if there is a betrayal committed by one or both parents.
It is important for either spouse to maintain their faith in God and continue to trust in the Lord. Children also need to be reminded that people were given free will and God did not allow their family to suffer needlessly. If you or your loved one is having an affair online there is help. Support groups are available as well. There is no need to continue to struggle in the web of lies alone.
GNB Mat 5:27-28 "You have heard that it was said, 'Do not commit adultery.' But now I tell you: anyone who looks at a woman and wants to possess her is guilty of committing adultery with her in his heart.